


La Vie Est (Pas) Belle

by Adamxex123



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depressed Stiles Stilinski, F/M, Graphic Description, M/M, Scott is a Bad Friend, Scott is actually a very shit friend, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 22:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13668855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamxex123/pseuds/Adamxex123
Summary: Because Scott wasn't his best friend. He hadn't been for a very long time yet Stiles clung on with false hope and let him dictate his life.But then Derek Hale came along and Stiles found himself being sucked into his sweet and caring attitude but Scott's voice would nag him in the back of his mind, telling him that he wasn't good enough.





	La Vie Est (Pas) Belle

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished writing the first chapter to this story and i'm not sure if i should mark chapter 1 as the end of the story but then it'll go against the summary because Stiles is still meant to meet Derek and Sterek is meant to happen so...
> 
> Let me know in the comments if I should continue this story or leave it be, if there are no comments (internally laughing) i'll probably decide on my own. 
> 
> There's a graphic scene towards the end so if you're easily triggered please don't read this story.

The last time Stiles remembered spending quality time with Scott, it was the first day of eleventh grade and they had been playing video games at Stiles' house whilst simultaneously making plans for the school year. Stiles was pretty much fucking ecstatic - he'd spent almost a whole month of his summer break with Scott and his mum in Cuba and the next month consisted of them lazing around and playing all the video games they could, so he couldn't wait for the excitement that would come with the new school year as after all, he would be with Scott.   
  
But on the second day, Scott met Allison Argent and within a week all Stiles heard was 'Allison said...' and 'Allison likes' and 'Sorry dude, I'm with Allison' and pretty much everything fucking rotated around Allison. When Scott began to blow off their plans, Stiles was alright with it, really.   
  
Until cancelling plans from once a week somehow became cancelling plans three times a week and then Stiles had no one to talk to about his epic crush on Lydia Martin or about how Batman ruled over all the other superheroes. He had no one who would come over and play video games with him and he had to do his assignments alone.   
  
But Scott still spoke to him in school and still spent all his lunches with Stiles. Obviously Allison ate lunch with them too and more often than not Allison and Scott would engage in their own conversation and Stiles learnt quite rapidly that these conversations excluded Stiles' input.   
  
But really, he was fine with it.   
  
Things began to change rapidly a few weeks before Christmas. When Lydia hosted a Christmas party at her house Stiles was surprised that he even got an invitation. He wore a v necked white tee and a jet black cardigan which fit snugly around his shoulders. He somehow managed to fit in a pair of ridiculously tight black jeans and to top it off, he wore his barely worn pair of black vans.   
  
Stiles had to attend the party without Scott as he cancelled last minute, telling Stiles he would be attending with Allison. Scott barely spoke to him throughout the party as he got drunk for the first time. He made quite a show of himself, dancing provocatively in Lydia's living room and overnight he transitioned from being a nerd to becoming one of the most popular guys in BHHS.   
  
He still spoke to Stiles though, so it was okay.   
  
But then Scott forgot to come over for Christmas with his mum, who had smiled apologetically at Stiles and informed him that Scott had been invited to have dinner with Allison's family. The whole of Christmas break passed without a single text from Scott and one night, Stiles lay in his bed and he came to the realisation that he didn't know this Scott anymore.   
  
The first day back after Christmas break, Scott and Allison's relationship was made official and the pair were accepted into Jackson's group. Stiles ate lunch feeling utterly alone for the first time in many years.   
  
It became a habit after that. Stiles would eat lunch all alone at his table which was situated right next to the popular table. Scott barely acknowledged his presence and Jackson sneered at him every time he caught Stiles staring longingly. Stiles began to feel envious when Allison abandoned her seat for Scott's lap and Isaac Lahey claimed it as his, just as Stiles had been preparing to ask Isaac to lunch with him. Not as a date of course, but he looked like he needed company. Now he had found solace in Jackson's group and the feeling of loneliness intensified.   
  
Stiles had thought that Isaac was a pretty decent guy. They spoke occasionally in chemistry but just like Scott, he transformed overnight into one of the insanely attractive popular people and suddenly he didn't seem to want to speak with Stiles at all.   
  
Sometimes Stiles thought about all the fun that he'd had with Scott over the past 9 years. He treasured these memories deeply and they made him tear up because he knew that that's all they would be. Memories.   
  
When Scott called him one day, Stiles' heart fluttered and a feeling of warmth spread throughout his body. Turned out that Scott only needed him to remind him that he still had Scott's economics book and that he wanted it back because 'Allison needs it to study' before he put the phone down on Stiles. The warmth that had been running through Stiles moments ago came to an abrupt halt and began to dissipate, leaving Stiles with an ache in his chest.   
  
He confronted Scott about his attitudes towards Stiles when he gave him back the textbook.   
  
'You don't talk to me anymore' he stated as he handed over the book and Scott blinked at him before replying, 'I have other friends now.'  
  
'And I'm not good enough?' Stiles replied, swallowing back the lump in his throat and Scott sighed and looked away before looking back at Stiles.   
  
'You're just... You know you'll always be my friend right?' Stiles flinched at the last word. 'But they're more fun, Stiles. Ever since I became friends with them we've gone to so many parties, something that we as a pair were never invited to. This is what I've always wanted.'  
  
'I understand' Stiles replied feebly. Scott seemed to notice the drop of his mood.   
  
'There's a party at 10 tonight at Jackson's. You should come' Scott said and Stiles nodded. He'd go to the party and show Scott that he could be a fun person too.   
  
The party didn't go well. Stiles ended up drinking many of the foul tasting shots and puked all over the kitchen table, earning many glares and an outraged 'what the fuck man!' from Jackson. 'Mccall, take him home!'  
  
'He's not with me' came Scott's reply and through Stiles' drunken haze, he could make out the look of disgust painted on Scott's face. He still took him home though after more or less shouting at him in the car for ruining his night out. 'I don't want you coming to the next party' he said as he pulled up outside Stiles' house.   
  
Stiles nodded shakily, fumbling for the handle as he exited Scott's vehicle and stumbled up to the front door of his house, flinching at the sound of the engine roaring away. He managed to get to his room safely before he threw up over his bed, surprised that his dad hadn't woken up and he planned on getting up to clean the mess but instead he passed out in a pool of his vomit, feeling more or less like a failure.   
  
He woke up the next morning to a horrible stench accompanied by a dreadful headache and memories of the last night rushed back to him. He felt so disgusted with himself and he stumbled off his bed, hastily changing his bed sheets and opening his window. He stood in the shower for such a long time until his skin began to turn bright red and then he exited the shower, looking at his features in the mirror.   
  
His nose was upturned - unlike Scott's or Jackson's or Lydia's. He had smatterings of disgusting moles all over his face and chest. He was too fucking pale, unlike Scott who had a year round tan and his lips looked like two thin slits in paper. He'd never paid much attention to his appearance before but looking into the mirror now explained one of the many reasons as to why Stiles would never be accepted in Jackson's group. He was ugly.   
  
He smashed his hand into the mirror and while the mirror didn't shatter, the pain that ran through his fist pulled him out of his thoughts.   
  
He felt his mind clear up a lot more that night as he dragged the razor blade he stole from his dad across his left arm. The way the blood appeared slowly and then began to trickle out fascinated Stiles because he was  _allowing_ this to happen. The contrast of red against his pale skin looked beautiful in a fucked up way and soon cutting became a daily part of Stiles' routine. A few cuts turned into many as they littered both of his arms and pretty soon he moved to his thighs.   
  
He felt good though, and that was the important thing.   
  
When Jackson shoved him against the water fountain, bruising his head and punching him across the face, Scott stood back and did nothing, avoiding Stiles' eyes as he stared at the floor. The final straw was a month later when Jackson slammed Stiles' head against a locker in the empty corridor, causing tears to leak out of his his eyes. Jackson laughed and slapped him across the face.   
  
'I can't believe you used to chill with this pussy, Mccall' he stated as he swung his bag over his shoulder, motioning at Scott to follow him. Stiles cradled his injured head in his hand and his head snapped up to the sound of Scott's voice.   
  
'You're a fucking embarrassment' Scott sneered, his face red from humiliation.  _Humiliation because he had been associated with Stiles_. 'He's right - you're like a girl' Scott continued.  _All of this for popularity._  
  
How Scott could throw away years of friendship within the span of five months, Stiles didn't know. He'd put up with Scott's bullshit for the past five months. The past two months had gotten worse and - well, if Stiles' own best friend didn't want him around, who would want him?   
  
His dad didn't have time for him anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he had dinner with his dad. He was always out working, sometimes not even coming home for the night and Stiles honestly felt so alone.   
  
Cutting didn't do much for him when he went home. He had the sick desire to cut deeper and watch the blood gush out. He wanted to feel the pain for longer, not have it last for a few seconds. He turned the blade in his hand and cut a deep, long line and he smiled as blood began to trickle out of the elongated line on his skin.   
  
It wasn't enough.   
  
So he slid the blade against his skin with much force and he jolted at the sudden flare of pain. Immediately blood began to gush out of the wound and Stiles sat still for a second, focusing on the amount of blood but the pain still wasn't enough.   
  
He slid the blade vertically against his skin  with such a force that the blade slipped from his bloody grip into the wound and Stiles yanked it out, hissing as blood began to squirt out of the now unobstructed wound. He stood up to go to the bathroom but a sudden wave of dizziness overtook him and he fell back onto his bed.   
  
Rivers of blood were snaking down his arm and Stiles dug into his back pocket, pulling out his phone and wheezing softly as he weakly unlocked it and he hit call on his dad's name, putting the phone on loudspeaker. The line began to ring and Stiles fought to keep his eyes open but the light above was too fucking bright and he just wanted to sleep.   
  
'Stiles?' he faintly registered someone calling his name before it was repeated frantically.   
  
'S-sorry dad' he wheezed out and the phone slipped out of his grasp and fell to the floor with a dull thud. Stiles was hit with sudden memories of his mum and Scott and he smiled before his eyes finally slid shut.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> All errors are mine as I do not have a beta.


End file.
